[wvns] I'd rather be Blowing Sailors than be Banking

I'd rather be Blowing Sailors than be Banking
By William R Castlelich
October 26, 2009
http://www.opednews.com/articles/I-d-Rather-Be-Blowing-Sail-by-William-R-Castleli-091022-91.html

I don't believe in God. I know this may be an interesting way to start a piece about today's bankers. I simply wanted to start from a point of clarity and honesty with my audience. If you believe in God that's great for you. I don't believe in magic, the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause either, but each to his own.

God allegedly had a son named Jesus and Jesus was big into getting rid of the money changers. Hence the following quote from John 2:13-16
"And the Jews' Passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house a house of merchandise."

I copied the passage above word-for-word from the Internet, and therefore the chance of it being even remotely accurate is probably about 1 in Wikipedia, or virtually none. I think Jesus was a nice man. He didn't walk on water or heal the sick. I don't believe in much of anything that was written over 2,000 years ago and I don't believe these stories anymore than I believe the fantasies written in books by modern day prophets like Palin and Limbaugh and Beck. I don't think 2,000 years from today anyone is going to be sitting reading these people's words and have the thought "man, I should worship this effluvia."

I've worked in banking for almost 20 years. Following the subprime debacle I quit. There reaches a certain point in everyone's life when they finally have to say if I'm going to be making a living doing something as distasteful as this I'd rather be blowing sailors for 5 bucks a pop and be called the prostitute I am. I'm only sorry it took me so long to reach that conclusion. There are some benefits to blowing sailors I imagine. First, I wouldn't have to invest in ties and nice suits. Second, I wouldn't have to pretend I liked my clientele or the work. Third, I'd be making a living doing something someone got joy out of. Fourth, I'd be making an honest living.

That's not to say blowing sailors at 5 bucks a pop is legal. It's to say it's honest. I know the service I'm offering and the sailors know what they're getting and we agree on a price they consider fair and I provide a service and if they're satisfied maybe I even would get a tip. And, you know neither one us has to sign one goddamn thing.

Unlike when someone does something at a bank. Trees quiver in fear when a bank building goes up because even they understand several forests will give up their lives so someone can take out a loan to buy some piece of crap they don't really need or want, but have been told "they just have to have."

Banking's not honest like blowing sailors. I started to lose my desire to be a banker maybe 8 or 9 years ago. I was talking to a man who I held in fairly high esteem because he was really wealthy and therefore I thought really successful; most people would think this I believe. I'll call him Ebeneezer. Ebeneezer is a very good name for a banker. I was talking to Ebeneezer about a competitive bank and their new "Free Checking" product. I laughed.

"They're so desperate they have to have free checking," I said.
"Free checking is great," Ebeneezer said.

"It is?" I asked.

"You bet," he said. "We make a lot of money off free checking."
I looked at him dumbfounded.

"Fees, my friend," he smirked. "Fees. Those folks can't afford a checking account, can't afford checking and they run up monstrous NSF charges." (Insufficient Funds.)

"I made my fortune off those people," he continued.

"Jesus," I said.

He laughed, but not a "ha, ha" that's funny sort of laugh, a guttural type of grumble that you might hear in a movie when the evil doer is about to do something incredibly evil.

I thought momentarily I was in a scene from The Exorcist or The Shining or one of those other scary movies about Satan or something really bad. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I was in the presence of evil.

Bankers make a significant amount of money not off all that lending they do with our money, although they make plenty off this practice as well. Bankers make a significant amount of money off people who have limited money and can't afford to bank. What's great now is folks don't even use checks and don't watch their accounts closely enough and those debit cards are a boon for NSF fees. We were making money hand over fist with the people who just purchased another $42 Big Mac and shake.

A President at the bank I quit a few months ago was in a meeting to announce how well our mortgage area was doing. He said he was "surprised" because the market was in such a downturn. Seems the foreclosures were now being sold again at a much reduced price to people who could afford them and we were lending the money. These folks were then turning around and renting them back to people, often those who had lost their homes due to foreclosure, for "cost plus," the cost of the loan plus more because it "wouldn't be fair for investors not to make a profit."

Our Tellers handle perhaps $35,000 to $50,000 a day. If they're short or long, even a little, there's a better than even chance we'd fire them. They make $11.00 to $15.00 an hour on average. They barely make a breathable wage much less a living wage. Every quarter we perform a staffing analysis to insure we have the right number of Tellers per location and insure they're all working hard enough (we count their transactions per hour and if they're not up to standard we cut staff, adding transactions to each Teller).

Our CEO made $387,500 last year, plus a bonus and exclusive of his car allowance, country club memberships and the numerous "freebies" he gets from every vendor that walks in our door. Oh, and he's a significant stockholder. When he retires he'll sell his investment and rather than simply having a few million bucks like he has now, he'll be a millionaire fifty, sixty or seventy times over. If he plays his cards right he'll have maybe 20 or 30 homes he's purchased on the foreclosure market. Maybe he can rent these back to the Tellers or other similarly situated bank employees who lost their homes after they were fired for coming up short...again.

I left banking a while ago. I'd rather be blowing sailors at 5 bucks a pop. It would leave less of a taste in my mouth.

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