[wvns] CRYING BEHIND HIS SUNGLASSES
THE MASS MURDERER WHO SEEMED TO BE "CRYING BEHIND HIS SUNGLASSES"
Jivana - Jivanak @ aol.com
www.TantricHealingTouch.com
In recent months I had been wondering if it would be Korea that would
bring the U.S. to its knees. Perhaps it just did.
The perpetrator of this recent horror, a tormented young soul who was
unable find a speck of light amidst his own inner darkness, has been
a searing reminder of my beloved brother Lt. Cmdr. Robert J. Kennedy,
who came home from Viet Nam and took his own life. That was of
course, many years ago, and for the most part the numbing effect of
time has allowed the loss to become bearable until an event like
Virginia Tech crashes through my shields.
My brother's suicide and the endless grief that followed, was the
catalyst for me to spend the rest of my life trying to learn about
the nature of consciousness, and its effect upon our individual and
collective reality. I pleaded with the only notion of god I knew at
that time, to help me to understand what has gone wrong if someone so
beautiful, so full of intelligence and promise could take his own
life? So, in his dying he also gave me a great gift. My prayer today,
is that Virginia Tech and Cho Seung Hui will do this for our country
and for all the world.
Is it too soon after this bloody slaughter of innocents to imagine
that Cho Seung Hui has also in some perverse way, given us all a
great gift?....A gift of riveting reflection on our current human
condition, and the burning need to ask the question, "What's it going
to take to turn this unsafe world around?"
Tears filled my eyes last night as I listened to Oprah interview one
of Cho's professors. She described a barely adult Asian male who
seemed to be..... 'crying behind his sunglasses'. She was not
depicting a brutal unfeeling savage,.... but a sad, frustrated and
angry young man, who did not have the interpersonal skills to have
the love and attention he needed, and that he probably never ever
had. Was that a way that my brother felt in the years before his
suicide? Is that how I might be living, no... existing, if I had not
received the grace and wisdom of a 'higher' consciousness and
intentional loving community?
Today I realize once again that the transformation of consciousness
holds the only possibility for a true culture of happiness to take
root on this planet. I know those sound like strong and perhaps
arrogant words in their certainty, but please allow me a moment to
explore here some of the shifts in perception that happened for me in
my early days, months and years at Cornucopia Institute.
In the late 1970's I was invited to participate in a Living Love
training at Cornucopia Institute, in the rolling hills of rural
Kentucky, that took place in the week from Christmas Day to New Years
Day . I was told very little about where I was going or what I might
be experiencing. I just knew that the place was called The Living
Love Center based upon the teachings of Ken Keyes, Jr. the author of
The Handbook to Higher Consciousness, and other books pointing to
personal and interpersonal pathways in the Science of Happiness. I
thought, If happiness had been boiled down to a science I sure wanted
to know about it. I had concluded during my years in parochial school
that this very life is the only heaven there is, but wondered why is
no one living as though? It frightened me to think I was the only one
who saw it this way? But heavy hearts and lives of quiet desperation
surrounded me, and I just knew this wasn't right.
It would be difficult to describe all that happened for me in that
profoundly life changing week, but if you'll bear with me I'll give
it my best shot and touch on a few of the highlights. First of all,
there was no stereotypical Corn. U 'student'. We came from every walk
of life, and from all over the globe. There were the granola types,
and the suburban homeowners, the corporate types, the doctors and
lawyers and professors, and the college students, young and old and
everywhere in between. There were a few classically beautiful people,
but most were somewhere between average, and downright plain. But by
the end of that week, everyone was radiant and decidedly more
beautiful. And the common denominator was that everybody......
handsome, homely, rich or poor, everybody.... had 'stuff'. At Corn.
U. "Stuff" was the vernacular for the thoughts and feelings that kept
happiness at bay. Some seemed to have heavier stuff than others in
content, but it didn't really matter much....all 'stuff' did the same
thing. It kept each person from experiencing the happiness he or she
knew was a possible but elusive reality...But how...to get there, to
get free .... free from the hold of our stuff...?......That was the
big question. And we were given big answers.
The way to get free put forth at Cornucopia, was The Methods. The
Methods were a synthesis of ancient Eastern Mysticism and Western
Humanistic Psychology...and basically the Methods taught us first, to
go within, and to become increasingly more aware of our inner states.
That it was the conscious and subconscious messages and limiting
beliefs that were the cause of our unhappiness, and not our actual
circumstances. And by invoking the ability to witness all of it,
offered distance from their hold, and then eventually, freedom. Ken
Keyes, Jr. the developer of this system was a shining example of this
truth. He was a loving giving happy and productive man..Yet he was
also a paraplegic, confined to a wheelchair for most of his life, and
who who never seemed to be without a lover.
And so, that led me to my first big shift...Happiness is an inside
job, and not dependent upon outer circumstances. Hmmm???!!!
If that was all that I had gotten that first week it would have been
huge...but there was more...So much more.
The single most important thing anyone could learn at Corn U. was
that they could learn to love themselves.... That anyone and everyone
deserved this value, simply for being alive.....Yep, even a mass
murderer at Corn U. would have been nurtured and supported to love
and accept himself..So, the old Judeo-Christian morality notion was
crumbling, and my heart and mind were enormously relieved, ..I
recognize truth when I feel it.....Sin, and its companion guilt,
began to look like a ridiculous and antiquated ideas, and that was
another huge perceptual shift for me, having been raised Catholic.
And original sin now looked like the sinister plot of organized
religion to control and disempower people under the heavy burden of
unworthiness. In this new construct, I was good from the gitgo. And
this felt really right and true, in my body and in my mind...It
concurred with my original sense that everyone is, in their true
nature really innocent, just acting out a karmic script, a play of
intersecting energies, an outcropping of the one mind.... And if they
knew better, were more nourished, had better skills, all would play
out at a more refined level corresponding to their level of
awareness. So, the key in each situation to more or less positive
outcomes is the level of awareness of the individual.
The next most important thing that I learned at Corn U. was that
"There is Only One"....That beyond all of our apparent
differences,...there is only..One..One Thing Happening, and that is
this,,,All of this, in an eternally unfolding dance of emergence and
dissolution. And once one knows this and lives this as an abiding
truth then one cannot intentionally harm another because one knows it
affects both the whole and one's own self.
So, now for this first time in my life I was living in a temporary
community of people committed to loving...both themselves and one
another...to finding the perfection of soul and spirit that was
behind or maybe obscured by the circumstances of each one's life. And
in this community my whole self was welcome......I did not have to
hide any part...in fact, there was little place where I could hide
even if I had wanted to. So out came my heartache, my self esteem
issues, my judgments and my fears, and mingled amidst the processes
of beating pillows, endless crying, primal screaming and raw
encounters with one another, there was tons of laughter, singing
soulful love songs to one another and to life, and playing with each
other like a bunch of eight year olds at recess. We scrubbed each
other up in showers, supported each other in seeing our stuff, and
learned to fight fair, so that out of any disagreement everyone could
win. We were learning to create conscious community. And the
experience of connectedness was paramount to our healing. We were
learning that we were not alone in our stuff, that we were not sick,
just human. Or it may be more accurate to say that the whole human
race is sick, and it was comforting to not feel alone in it any more,
ever again.
Lives were changed that week. Changed forever. Many things had been
revealed to us that were so obvious... that may have been too
obvious to be seen before. We were sick because we were isolated from
one another's love, living in energy fields that did not support
life, and did not nurture emotional freedom and wholeness.
It's too late to wish that Cho Seung Hui could have had such an
experience, but it's not too late to learn from his life what must be
done to save the world from many repetitions of Virginia Tech, and
other heartbreaking events in the making. We are at a perilous
crossroads in our evolution and we have to take conscious control of
our destiny if the human race is to survive and thrive...that is
becoming more clear every day now. Eckhardt Tolle, a contemporary
spiritual teacher talks about the legacy of the accumulated pain
body. Each individual has one, some more burdened than others, and
every country has one..... and similarly, some are more burdened than
others. And it is this 'pain body' that is now coming up for
clearing, everywhere we look creating the enormous chaos we see all
around us. It is this pain body that must be seen and healed if we
are to move in the direction of a loving and peaceful earth.
Ones like Cho Seung Hui just bring it more clearly into view.
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